Adventure Time Gaiden
by Some Guy With A Knife
Summary: Flame Princess mingles with the wrong crowd, such as a bemused priest, a cursed paladin, an abusive father, and many more waiting to be discovered by her.
1. Prologue - Adventure Time Gayden

**Prologue - Adventure Time Gayden**

The land of Ooo, the continent that thrived after the prodigious Mushroom War. For 996 years, the denizens of Ooo lived in various kingdoms large and small. Everything was normal, fine, and dandy, but one day...

Four mercenaries arrived at the Candy Kingdom thanks to a time machine, but it violently crashed onto the ground, leaving everyone inside seriously wounded. After witnessing the wreckage, Princess Bubblegum ordered Finn and Jake to run ahead and tell Doctor Princess and the other doctors about their dilemma.

"Post-haste, you guys!"

"You got it, PB!" yelled Finn. They ran through the castle gates and raced to Doctor Princess. Finn was flabbergasted on what he saw back in the E.R.

"I can't believe it, dude! There's a human in that rabble!"

"I know, brother. But we have to save the guy and his peeps before they die!"

"Faster, Jake, faster!"

"On it!"

A full day has passed since then and they're fully recovered, thanks to Princess Bubblegum and her peers. After an onslaught of pointless cacophony, she hired the mercenaries to aid Finn and Jake to take down the Lich, after hearing that he came back to life.

"Where to, boss?" a mercenary asked and Finn giggled.

"Hear that Jake? He called me boss!"

"Ahem!" he raised his voice. "Where to?"

"To my girlfriend."

"It's nice to see another human here. Joash gets lonely sometimes."

"Shut up, Arthur!" he snapped and the griffon started laughing.

Meanwhile...

Flame Princess paced back and forth inside her make-shift home. "Finn..." she bellowed. She looked out the window and saw him.

"Finn!" she yelped and ran outside to greet him.

"Princess!" he hollered, running to her.

"Where were you!" she pouted. "I've been calling you all night!"

"Sorry there. You see, I've-" He looked at Jake, "uh, me and Jake were busy last night."

"Busy for what?" she asked and Jake chimed in, saying, "For saving these weirdos!"

She brushed the mercenaries, ignoring them and her eyes rolled. "Whatever,"

Charon wasn't amused, "Typical ignorant!" she snorted.

"What are you up to this time?" she wrapped her arms.

"The Lich's back, and this time he means business! I'm just wondering if you could join us?"

"Sure!" she answered enthusiastically. "Kicking evil's butt with my boyfriend counts as a date, right?"

"I guess?" Finn shrugged.

"All right, I'm in! Prepare to get your buns burned off, Lich!" she raised her fist.

After Flame Princess joins Finn's "army", they set out for the Ice Kingdom on the moonrise.

"Ice Kingdom?" questioned Flavio.

Finn looked at him, saying, "We're just going to "persuade" the Ice King."

In the fields of barren snow, they spotted him, making his sneaky mission to kidnap another princess.

"Stop there, Ice King!" Finn pointed at him.

"Finn!" he growled, preparing his ice powers, "and Jake, and... Flame Princess..." He then looked at the mercs, "Oh dear..." he whimpered.

Finn leaped towards the him, yelling, "Hyaa!" He kicked him in the face, knocking him down on his back. Finn grabbed him by his collar.

"Do you know where the Lich is?" he pointed the demon sword towards his neck. The tip was several centimeters away from decapitating him.

"No! No! I don't know where the Lich is! I swear!" he answered quickly and fearfully. Jake and Flame Princess crept towards him, fists ready and he yelped.

"What a stupid kid!" Arthur snickered. During this standoff, the Lich sucker punched Finn out of nowhere, and after dealing his attack, he disappeared into thin air just as he appeared.

"Fi-Finn?!" Flame Princess was completely frozen in horror.

Everyone ran towards him. In impulse, Ice King got up and bolted away. The group circled around him. Charon looked at his totaled body.

"Damn!" She raised her head to Joash. "Can you do anything, Joash?!"

He bit his lower lip. "... My stave's dysfunctional!"

With no time to spare, they retreated back to Candy Kingdom and the princess was horrified when she found out about Finn.

"How did this-?!" her voice raised.

"No time, princess-!" Arthur interrupted, fearing of not getting paid. "Help him!"

Without a moment to spare, Bubblegum placed him on a stretcher and rushed towards the infirmary, placing him in life support. Morning finally came and the boy will live, fortunately. Their battle against the Lich is currently in hiatus. No one else wanted to take the lead, not even the them. They will continue their manhunt when he's up and about. But how long will that take? It could be days, weeks, months, or even a full year. Who knows?

Using the opportunity, Joash and Flavio said to everyone that until his recovery, they will travel around Ooo to kill time, and they got up and left. They reached the gates with their eyes squinting from the bright sunlight. They were both smiling with anticipation to begin their break from taking orders from a goofy looking kid and seeing the dark, cold, overgrown mushroom island Pagan that they're so used to seeing. Their anticipation was suddenly shattered by a fiery "Hey, wait up!" They turned around and saw Flame Princess.

"Oh, it's you," said Joash, "Finn's boyfriend. What do you want?"

With a semi-cocky tone, she asked to them, "Can I join you two?"

"Why?" asked Flavio.

"Because I want to kick the Lich's butt!" She intensified. "RAAAHHH!"

Joash swinged his stave towards her face with a wooden thwack, knocking her down, "You spoiled little brat!" he sourly screeched. She got up to her feet with a loss of words and Flavio intervened.

"You're free to join us if you want, princess." he gently answered.

"R-really?" she recoiled, balling her fists and the dragon nodded.

"But remember, you're taking orders from us from now on." And with a defeated growl, she joined Joash and Flavio.


	2. Chapter 1 - Christian Brutality

**Chapter 1 - Christian Brutality**

Recovering from the smack, Flame Princess asked, "Where are we going?"

"To the City of Thieves." Joash answered.

"Why?" she asked again.

"... For fun..."

They entered the station, bought tickets, and boarded the passenger train. The train blew a whistle and heads out to the vast desert. Not wanting for Flame Princess to breath down his neck, Joash said to Flavio, "I'm walking around. I'll meet you later." and he got up and left. With the priest gone, Flavio began conversing with Flame Princess.

"So, Flame Princess."

"Yes?"

"The reason why you joined us is to avenge your lover, correct?"

She mumbled something.

"But how are you going to do that?" he asked again and she looked away.

"That's what I thought."

She said nothing.

"It's about Joash, right?"

She continued her cold-shoulder, "Don't worry." he reassured her. "He means well. He'll warm up to you eventually, if you acted mature." He chuckled heartily at the thought of it.

She looked through the window, ignoring him. With nothing else to say, he stood up and left, leaving her alone. Later, she looked down to the ground, gripping her stomach with both of her arms. She felt really uncomfortable about joining them and had an impulse to jump off the train.

Would she follow her impulse?

**If you answered yes**

* * *

These two don't like her at all. It would be better off if she jumped off and hightail it back to Candy Kingdom.

Following her impulse she ran to the nearest exit and jumped. Too bad she wasn't looking when she jumped because she smacked her face on a giant boulder. Hard. The gem on her forehead broke into shards, ending her life with stars and eternal darkness. . .

**If you answered no**

* * *

She ignored her impulse, claiming that "it would be stupid and not very adventure-like."

Minutes or even hours has passed. She lost count on how long she's riding the train, but she didn't care. Suddenly, it stopped half-way through the desert.

"The train stopped!" one of the passengers yelled.

"What the-?! Who stopped the train?!" yelled another.

Flame Princess, along with several other passengers, left the train. She saw that the remaining rail tracks were missing for some bizarre reason. Suddenly, someone grabbed her by the shoulder. "Aah!" she shrieked. She turned around and saw that it was the priest.

"So, princess. You still feeling raw about that smack earlier?"

She looked away in disgust.

"Well, looks like we'll be walking then." he shrugged.

"But how long will that take?" she raised her head.

"Probably all day, because we'll be walking to the city for some 57 miles."

She was completely speechless.

"Fifty... seven... miles...? Excuse me?!" she snapped.

"Think of it as exercise. Shall we?" he teased. She couldn't believe this. She'll be dead by the time they get there! During their trek, she looked at the endless dunes of the desert. "Endless... sand... everywhere..." She was completely miserable and about two hours in, her legs soon felt like gelatin and she turned delusional.

"Are you okay?" a concerned Flavio asked.

"No..." she groaned.

"Joash, we should stop." he protested.

"She can go for a few more hours." he denied.

"Joash, I think it's best if we-" he protested again but Joash snapped the fingers on his right hand.

Six hours have passed. Her eyes twitched, her legs turned numb, and tears streamed down her eyes. Her brave facade, completely shattered. Thankfully, they reached their destination with the air of angry passengers and workers changing their shifts to replace the tracks.

They sat down on an unoccupied bench. A godsend for the fire elemental and she sighed with relief, but minutes later...

"Are you ready? We can't stay here forever." asked a faintly smiling Joash and she whimpered.

After braving some 57 miles of desert heat, our heroine could really use a good night's rest.

"It's getting late." said Flavio. "We should get a room in an inn. If they have one."

"You go ahead," said Joash, "I'll do some... sightseeing."

Flavio and a demoralized Flame Princess went inside a nearby inn, "Welcome to the No-Tell Inn." the innkeeper greeted, "How long will you stay here?"

"Just for the night..." Flame Princess answered hazily.

"All night?"

He stared at the odd couple, a dragon and a fire elemental. He sheepishly whistled and said, "Okay then, but just don't make too much noise."

"Thank you..."

Joash strolled down near an alleyway and suddenly, a thief came out of the darkness of the alleyway, bashed him in the back of his head, stole his staff, and scurried away.

"Hey! Thief!" he hollered, and ran after him. With a mace in hand, he chased after the dirty crook, but an arrow stabbed the thief right in the heart, killing him. Unfazed, he reached out towards his staff but it glows azure and raced towards the palm of a wizard on top of a roof on a nearby apartment. They stared at each other and the wizard teleported away.

"...Blasphemy!"

He traveled back to the inn where the duo stayed. "Hello, Joash." said Flavio.

"...You're not sleeping?" he asked, and the dragon nodded.

"Something wrong?" the dragon asked.

"... Someone stole my staff."

"Haw!" he laughed, "Serves you right for treating the princess like that!"

"She's worthless!"

"She's just a child!" he raised his voice, "and don't make me angry, boy." he bellowed. They were yucking away while Flame Princess contemplated over everything that happened today, "Oh, Finn... I wish you were here..." but then, his father possesses an unlit oil lamp and slowly crept towards her.

"Evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil." he whispered, giving her subliminal messages. The princess woke up, looked at her father and gasped, causing him to disappear. She was wide awake, completely shocked. As sunrise approached, they left the city and onto the desert.

"Where will be going next?" she asked.

"The Breakfast Kingdom." answered a hushed Joash. She looked at both of them. They're both bruised and battered. She doesn't want to know where they got them. Instead, she asked, "Is it 57 miles?" pissantly.

"It's not far this time. It's only 18 miles to the north now." he continued and her pace stopped.

"Relax." he reassured without looking back at her. She growled again and started her regular pace again.


	3. Chapter 2 - Pilgrimage to Fire Kingdom

**Chapter 2 - Pilgrimage to Fire Kingdom  
**

The Breakfast Kingdom is nothing more than a castle on a ditch with a few trailers surrounding it. They entered the nearest diner and had breakfast. Flavio, Joash ordered coffee and Flame Princess ordered pancakes. She ate pancake after pancake recovering from the trauma she experienced yesterday. She wanted to order more, but they restrained her and after breakfast, their desert escapade begins.

Welcome to the Desert of Doom! In this scorched land, there's a lot to do here, even if anyone tells you otherwise. There's only one drawback: the foes! Some can be super-tough here and just as merciless as the sun. Exercise caution. Attacking in tandem strongly recommended.

They searched out for the nearest oasis to find an old pilot from a war that occurred in the desert decades ago. He's giving flying tours to anyone who will pay and also offered a free tank for ten stubs of the tickets you get from taking his air trips. The flights are a great way to see the desert without encountering any hostilities. They took the cheapest flight.

The duke circled around the desert. They saw an old foundation of a building. There's an odd cave leading into the ground as well. They'll have to return here on foot for exploration, it seems...

After the flight, the duke handed out 3 ticket stubs. One stub for each. They took the same flight 3 times, getting 12 stubs and throwing away two, before getting their own tank. Keeping his word, he gave them the surplus tank.

This piece of machinery is superb! Desert Bandits won't go near this tank as they cruise through the vast desert. They headed towards the foundation they saw earlier.

At the foundation, they found themselves head-to-head with a giant silver-plated robot. No worries though as all of his attacks are reflected by the tank. The bad news is that as the robot is destroyed, he scraps the tank as well. In any case, the way forward is now clear, so they headed on down through the passage that lies before them.

Upon descending the ladder, they found themselves in a network of brown caves filled with monkeys. These chimps aren't to be trusted: they're all pathological liars. However, no harm will come to you from them, so they explored the underground maze at their leisure. They soon reached a T-shaped fork on the way with some wooden signs saying:

**Slime Kingdom - Right**

**Dungeon Master - Left**

**Desert of Doom - Back**

They decided to go to the Slime Kingdom.

Everything's made of slime! They might as well visit Slime Castle in the middle of the underground city. They entered the castle and greeted Slime Princess.

"Nice to meet you three!" She panned her eyes towards Flame Princess, "A fire elemental, huh? Quite rare to see one so far away from the Fire Kingdom."

Silence... The situation turned awkward for her.

"So, I heard there's a Dungeon Master route." Joash said, making the awkward situation even more awkward.

"Oh! Brave adventurers I see. Yes, I heard that the rewards there, are, rewarding."

"Then what are we waiting for?" said Flavio.

"Good luck, adventurers!" said Slime Princess, lazily waving good-bye. "Never gonna see them again." she shooked her head.

They backtracked to the wooden signs and went left and found the entrance. The slate door slowly opened and they went inside. Pale stone walls, moss everywhere, pools of crystal water, muggy air, creaking ambiance, your typical dungeon.

Wanna know how to survive Dungeon Master?

**First:** Don't touch the walls or you die.

**Second:** Fight a mummy and find a hidden pressure plate nearby to find a falchion in a niche.

**Third: **Treat Flame Princess as an impromptu torch.

**And Fourth:** Don't die.

Venturing deep in the dungeon, they encountered screamers, walking, green-capped mushrooms. The best part about these S.O.B's are that their caps are edible, so munch on them whenever you're hungry, and another thing about Dungeon Master are puzzles. You put X to Y and Z happens, drop a golden coin in a water fountain, abandoning said falchion on a pressure plate to cover up a pit. You know, the **obvious.**

With each step they take, the dungeon gets harder, like solving cryptic puzzles and following cryptic rules. One of them is running around a looped room, and another, racing against the clock. Then they have to fight a fire-breathing dragon blocking their path... Or they can just run past him, and carry on. They did the latter. They then met some jackass blocking the exit who looks like a combination of Darth Vader and Amadeus!

Long story short, they kicked his balls off and finally reached the exit, only to find a cave filled with working fire elementals in mining clothes. They were unfazed by the adventurers as they carried out their duties.

The three walked towards the exit, but a miner blocked the way, "Another days work." he sighed. With a cigar on hand, he took a puff, not noticing the trio's presence until he opened his eyes.

"Oh! Am I blocking the exit...! Sorry 'bout that." He took a puff again. "You guys look tired," he withdrawn the cigar from his mouth. "Running inside that dungeon right? No wonder you guys are sweaty and dirty. Especially you." He's pointing at Joash.

"This exit leads to the Fire Kingdom?" he asked, ignoring the miner's remark.

"Uh, yeah. Why not spend the night there?"

"Shut it, crewman and start your shift!" A harsh female voice cried. "Uh, coming!" He threw his cigar away and bolted to the other workers. With the miner gone, they went up the elevator, left the man-made quarry and found themselves on the outskirts of the Fire Kingdom.

Flavio looked up at the night sky filled with smoke and ash, "Looks like we go carried away." he said.

Flame Princess looked uneasy. "Something troubling you, lass?"

"Yeah. It's just that my dad-" She paused, not wanting to share last night's experience with them, "I remember when he called me evil." she lied.

"What's wrong with being evil?" Joash asked.

"My boy- er, Finn said that being evil sucks."

"Yeah, _some_ boyfriend you have there." he snickered.

"Huh?"

"You shouldn't follow advice from a stupid kid. You should follow advice from adults who knows a thing or two about the world. Like us." he bluffed.

"What?"

"Finn. Good boyfriend, bad advice. Us. Bad friends, good advice. Take a pick." he simpled it out.

"Well, Finn's-, uh... I'm going with you guys."

"You don't have a choice anyway..."

"And this is a perfect opportunity to purge your past with your father." said Flavio.

"No."

"Excuse me?" he continued.

"Something like this should only be done by me."

Joash chimed in, "Good. Spares me the drama."

"Are you sure about this?" asked Flavio.

"I'm sure." she nodded and she went past the border, alone. She's finally back home, but she's not here to stay, for many reasons, and entered the castle.

"Princess...?" one of the guards asked.

"I'm going to talk to my dad."

"If that's your wish, milady." he bowed.

"Thank you."

She walked towards the royal throne and met her father.

"Flame Princess?!" he gasped, "it really is you!" She grumbled.

"So. You come to embrace evil?" he continued. She looked down and pondered about the question, "Should I say yes?" and she then remembered a quote not too long ago; "Life's too damn short."

She raised her head and nodded. "Yes."

"Ho! Ho!" he laughed. "Looks like-"

"But, dad." she interrupted and it startled him.

"Yes, daughter?"

"Why was I trapped in that lamp for so many years?"

He stared at her. She wants answers and he sighed. "Very well, daughter. You were locked up because of Princess Bubblegum."

"Princess Bubblegum?"

"Yes. Finn's former girlfriend."

"He has an... ex?"

"It's true, daughter. Finn dumped her for you. For your body."

"What?!"

"Go to your room, daughter, we've a lot to talk about tomorrow."

Her vision faded white. She was wobbling when she walked towards her room, the room that she never set foot in once, and collapsed on her bed, "I can't... believe... this..." she moaned. Her father's words kept hammering her head and she couldn't sleep. But as time ticks away, drowsiness overcame her and she fell fast asleep.

She had vivid dreams of her ex-lover while she slept. As she dreamed more about it, Finn was nothing but a big pervert. Joash was true when he said that Finn's an idiot, and his father, despite being arrogant and crude, can never lie to his own daughter. She tried her best not to believe those two but she couldn't.


	4. Chapter 3 - Home Sweet Home

**Chapter 3 - Home Sweet Home**

_The next day._

"Yo, princess!" Flambo cried, nudging her.

"Whuhuh?" She woke up.

"Your pops told me to wake you up and visit the theater."

"Why?"

"Your big bro caught two thieves last night. _Yeesh!_ Security needs to be tighten up!" and he left.

"Thieves?" she asked to herself. She got out of bed, changed her dress and walked to the theater.

"Who are these thieves. I have to see this."

She went inside and saw the thieves. Their Joash and Flavio, getting a taste of their own medicine!

"What?!" Shwe gasped. She saw her brother next to them and walked next to him.

"What are you two doing here?" she asked with a vengeful smirk.

"Joash..." growled Flavio.

"You were dumb enough to follow me, Sir Flavio." he joked bitterly.

"Silence!" Flame King howled and he looked at Flame Princess.

"Good morning, daughter. Your brother captured these buffoons running around the royal halls. They put up quite a resistance, but they were no match for his prowess, and according to these two. You were traveling with them, correct?"

She nodded and the crowd was bursting with talk.

"Did they torture you?"

"Yes."

The crowd instantly went silent. Someone yelled, "Heretics!" and the crowd went wild.

"Vagabonds! Pedophiles!"

"Beasts! Anti-gentlemen!"

"Silence!" Flame King howled.

"It will be up to my daughter to decide these infidels' fate!"

"Now, sister," her brother said, "do you spare them or not?"

**If she answered yes**

* * *

These two gave you the worst day of your life! Torture them to death! Bathe in their blood! Teach them to never mess with fire elementals!

An uncontrollable rage came inside her. Her sympathies with them, as little as they were, gone.

"Execute them!" she snarled, "Brake their legs! Slice their arms and ears off! Crush their eyeballs! I want them to suffer!"

"You heard your sister!" his father snarled.

"Do as she says!"

He hesitated. He was in the good side of the family, but after what her sister said to these... infidels. He harbored no mercy.

"With pleasure." he smiled devilishly.

Apparently their execution will be a public spectacle. He broke their legs, ripped their arms apart, sliced their ears off, and crushed their eyeballs. The crowd was roaring with excitement. Flavio and Joash can't hear and see... Their final moments are being tossed into the sea of lava...

**If she answered yes, but to Joash**

* * *

You know, Flavio's not that bad of a guy. He's very supportive to her and actually cares for her well being. Well _sometimes_, but Joash! He's a complete jerk and cares nothing for her.

"I want the human executed, but the dragon spared!"

"Why spare the dragon?" his father asked. He's very confused.

"Didn't both of them tortured you?"

"The human tortured me back in the desert, but I heard the dragon rebelling against his cruelness."

"I see." He stared at his son.

"Spare thy dragon, but harbor no mercy to thy human."

He unlocked Flavio's chains. "Wait," he said, "I'll execute the lad myself."

He motioned at the brother, asking him, "Give me your sword and I will slice his head off with one swipe."

"Oh ho!" Flame King sneered.

"Wanting to kill your own comrade. I like it."

He pointed to his son.

"Do as he says." he ordered. He gave his sword to Flavio. He was about to do the strike but he punched the brother and sliced the priest's chains off.

"What madness is this?!" the king shrieked. Flame Princess gasped and the crowd went ballistic. Flavio motioned at her.

"Sorry, lass, but the priest's with me."

In a hissy fit, Flame Princess hurled a huge ball of fire towards Flavio. But tooken the blow like it was nothing.

"You can do better than that." he snickered bitterly.

"Well, we're outta here!" Joash hollered. He grabbed something out from his left sleeve and threw it against the ground. The stage is covered with smoke! As the smoke dissipates, they're gone.

In a fit of rage, Flame King ordered, "Guards! Guards! Assemble the entire army! DEFCON 3! DEFCON 3!"

Joash and Flavio fought their way through and valiantly escaped the clutches of the entire Fire Kingdom.

"That was close!" Flavio panted.

"Too close for comfort!" Joash shrieked. They ran nonstop to Candy Kingdom. This just gotten way out of hand!

For the first time, they've never been so careless in their lives! They won't even look at Princess Bubblegum or any of the other mercs without blushing out of embarrassment. Things are about to get crazy nasty from here-and-out.

**If she answered no**

* * *

Yeah sure, they might be a bit too hard on her, but they don't seem that bad. Joash can be rotten, but deep down inside, he seems to have a heart, like during Dungeon Master, he ordered her to stay out of the fight with the water elementals and even shielded her from a trollin.

"Spare them!" she shrieked and her father was appalled at her remark, "But why?" he begged.

"They treated you so abhorrently!" and he smacked his chair.

"At first! But they changed, even slightly. They've warmed up to me."

She glared at her father. "And you know what, dad? I think you lied about Finn also!"

The crowd gasped.

"Finn would never do that to me! I've seen her, dad, I've seen her. She's way too young for him!"

Flame King started to snarl.

"And you know what else, dad? I never liked you and never wanted to be you, you-! You-! YOU ASSHOLE!"

"You little harlot!"

He leaped towards the stage and gave a Flame Princess a sharp glare.

"Daddy's going to beat you up, kid. Daddy's going to beat you up." he threatened.

"Untie us, untie us!" Flavio pleaded at her brother. He sliced his chains off and Flavio threw a phial of holy water towards the king. Flame Princess fell down as he charged towards her. Fortunately, the holy water intervened, breaking on him.

"_GYAAHH_!" he yelped and he saw Flame Princess along with the priest and the dragon beside her, weapons ready. Flavio and Joash attacked her father. They were prancing around him, dodging his flares and fists.

"Sister!" Flame Princess turned around saw her brother.

"Here! Catch!" He thew his sword towards her, the glowing sword!

She caught it by the handle and joined the two. She charged, sword ready and fiercely slashed at her father's face. It was poor and sloppy, but it hit. Flame King paused in disbelief, letting Joash to deal a fatal bash on his head with his mace. He screeched in pain and he collapsed to his knees. Flame Princess dropped her stance and slowly walked towards her wounded father

"Dad?" she softly said.

He pushed her down.

"I hereby banish you from the Fire Kingdom! Now get out of my face!" he roared. Flame Princess got up and started tearing up.

"Fine then!" and she bolted off. He pointed at the two.

"I want you two out of here!"

"This place is a wreck anyway!" sneered Joash and they left. They caught up to Flame Princess and together, they left the kingdom, never to return.


	5. Chapter 4 - PGOACS

**Chapter 4 - Stomping Grounds of a Certain Someone**

After being exiled by Flame King, Flame Princess' estranged father. She, Joash, and Flavio retreated to Wildberry Kingdom and rested inside a busy pub. They all sat on a stool. and the bartender motions at Flame Princess with a raspy, gruff voice.

"Never seen a kid here." he slowly crept to her. She laughed nervously and inched her stool away from him, causing the bartender to chuckle. He motions to Joash and asked him, "What's your order?"

"Can I get some wine?"

"Sure," He looks at Flavio, "and you?"

"I'm not thirsty."

The bartender raised his eyebrows at his remark.

"And you?" he asked Flame Princess.

"I'll have some... juice." she answered nervously.

After drinking, they went outside to the dense jungle. Hot, Humid, and filled with flesh-eating plants, welcome to the Mad Jungle. First stop, they visited Wildberry Kingdom's castle, only to be informed that a flesh-eating virus is running rampant in the deeper parts of the jungle. Without the Live Staff in hand, going into the depths is tantamount to suicide.

"The cause is unknown, causing Jungle Princess to tackle on the case by herself." says Wildberry Princess and begs the trio to join their cause, in which Flavio and Flame Princess agreed. Joash refused until she said that the princess is holding a "magical staff" that a mercenary she hired stole from someone back in the City of Thieves, hoping to help with the epidemic, but with no result.

"It's the Live Staff!" he thought to himself, and he agreed to join, only to retrieve his staff. Wildberry Princess gave them a marque so she knows that they're here to help. They soon found Jungle Princess not too far away in the Lizard Kingdom, cooperating with Lizard Princess, in which she refused and Jungle Princess left, disappointed. She met the trio, they showed her the marque and she agreed to letting them join her.

Hours passed and after exhausting all possible help in the jungle, she decided to go to its neighbor, the Grasslands. Along the way, She was constantly asked by Joash to hand over his staff back, and everytime he asked, she answered to him bluntly, "Later."

Sometime later, they went inside Finn's treefort, only to be threatened by BMO. It didn't take long for BMO to be "persuaded" into joining them, and after mooching for god knows how long, they continued their quest. They soon found a cave nearby and entered and found a quaint little house.

"Hey!" a female voice cried. It's Marceline. "Who are you guys?" she asked.

"We ar-" answered Flame Princess, but she got interrupted.

"I don't care." Marceline hissed. "What do you want?"

"The jungle's in danger." answered Jungle Princess.

"Don't care."

"It is true," she continued, "you and Princess Bubblegum are made for each other. You're both blackhearts."

"Oh-,"

She was about to apologize, until Joash interrupted. "No point in talking to a vampire, princess. Let's burn her like a witch for all I care!"

"So be it." Jungle Princess said.

Marceline transformed into a giant bat and tried to swipe them with her long arms, but they dodged. Retaliating, Flame Princess shooted dinky fire balls, Joash stayed back, and Flavio and Jungle Princess ran towards her, but she grabbed both Jungle Princess and Flavio. Jungle Princess stabbed her hand with the staff, giving her a shock. "Ouch!" she yelped, Jungle Princess broke free from her grasp and she threw Flavio towards the lake. Jungle Princess kicked Mareline's left shin, causing her to collapse. Flavio rose from the waters and threw a phial of holy water to Joash.

"Joash! Here!" and he caught it. Marceline turned fearful. She tried to escape, but there's nowhere to hide. She can't run outside because it's daytime, and even if she ran outside, she won't go that far. She's stuck. Like a dog being leashed, she's not going anywhere.

Joash threw it towards the injured vampire and she was completely engulfed in flames. Her gray flesh is charred to black as she reverted back to her normal self. He then ran and bashed her on the back of her head, knocking her out. He looked at her. She's burning from the intense hellfire. The smell of smoked skin is everywhere. He took out his dagger and placed it above her heart with the tip barely poking her chest.

"Do we kill her?" he asked to Jungle Princess.

Do you want to kill off Marceline?

**If you answered yes**

* * *

"Do it," she answered and he quickly punctured her heart, causing her to dissipate into black smoke. She turned around to the two. "Is everyone okay?"

"Yup!" Flame Princess hollered.

"I'm okay," said Flavio, walking out of water with a wet clink every time he takes a step.

"Where do we go next?" asked Joash, "Candy Kingdom?"

She shooked her head. "And about that," he continued, "you said that she was a blackheart. Is that true?"

"... She's an elitist demigod..." She lowered her head, giving a confused sigh, she really didn't know if she was an actual blackheart. But who cares really.

"... Can I have my staff now?" he begged for the umpteenth time and she threw the staff back to him and he caught it in mid-air. "Thank you..." he said, and they went on their way.

**If you answered no**

* * *

"Spare her..." she answered and he said nothing as he sheathed his knife back to its scabbard.

The next day...

Marceline woke up in her bed, "Uhhh..." she groggily moaned, "was that a dream?"

She smelled herself. "Why do I smell like smoke?" she sniffed her shirt. "Could it be from th-?!" and she paused. After showering, she went downstairs and had breakfast. After eating, she noticed a letter taped on her front door. She ripped it off and read it out loud.

It is written in roman:

_We spared you. As payment for our lawful deed, we taught ourselves on how to enter the so-called Nightosphere to find answers... You'll never see us again..._

_ Good bye._

_ Flavio Vulcan_

"Eww!" She crumpled up the letter and threw it to the trash can, and it missed. "Guess it wasn't a dream after all..."


	6. Chapter 5 - Illegalized Aliens

**Chapter 5 - Illegalized Aliens**

After her defeat, they herded her back to her room and rummaged around her house. They found instructions on how to enter the Nightosphere and went outside and drew a Phil Face on the ground. Joash went inside Marceline's house and came out with an open carton of bug milk and he threw it on the drawing.

"Maloso vobiscum et cum spiritum!" he chanted and the face turned into a portal with hellfire spewing here and there.

"Charon would love this..." says Joash as they jumped inside the portal.

"Where are we?" Flame Princess asked as the portal closed. "An office, maybe?"

"This is the embassy." an employee, named Melchom, answered.

"Well..." said Jungle Princess, "we'll be on our way."

"Sorry," he interrupted, "but you can't enter the Nightosphere without a passport... Do you have any?"

"No," answered Flavio, "we don't."

"You can get your passports created here."

"How much?" he asked.

"500 per person."

"500?" Joash exclaimed. "Fine." He opened his briefcase with a startled BMO. "Gah!" she cried out. He took out 2000 and gave it to Melchom.

"Thank you. Now please fill out these forms."

He handed out a single form to each of them. Joash finished his in cursive, Flavio and Jungle Princess finished theirs in romanic, and for Flame Princess...

"I don't know how to write." she murmured.

"You can't write? But can you read?" asked Joash.

"No..."

"Illiterate, huh?" said Melchom. "Then live with it. Even if it is abysmal, just fill it out." he reassured her.

"Okay then..." she answered. After finishing her form, they gave their forms back to him. He looked at each one individually. He looked at Joash's, impressed at his penmanship. Flavio's and Jungle Princess', so-so, and Flame Princess'... bottom of the barrel terrible.

"At least I tried!" she screeched at him.

"And now, please sit down here on this chair to have your photos taken."

One at a time, they sat down, looked at the camera, and _Snap!_ Their photos were taken, "Good. Now please wait for fifteen minutes to have your passports created."

"Thank you." said Flavio. They sat down to some nearby chairs. After waiting for some fifteen minutes, Melchom called them. "Your passports are finished!" He handed out their passports.

"Thanks." Flame Princess said, grabbing her passport disdainfully. They went outside, free to roam the Nightosphere without a single care in the world, and guess what? The entire hellzone's in a frenzy! Every demon in all walks of life traveled to Hunson's Abadeer's mansion in hopes of making a single wish come true.

"Looks like we know where to go," said Jungle Princess, "but how are we going to get there?" she looked at Flavio. "Flavio?"

"Well..." he paused. "We should get a fare."

"What kind?"

"That kind." he pointed to that half monster demon. They walked towards the demon and he looked at them. "Can I help you?" he asked.

"Can we get a fare to Hunson Abadeer?"

"Yeah, sure. Just get in my belly and I will transport you."

Taking the fare, they begin traveling to the heart of the Nightosphere, Hunson's mansion, and upon reaching the desired location, they reached a line. A long, long line.

"_Perfect!_" Joash sarcastically praised.

_59,297 dead demons later..._

Joash and co. walked towards the teller, "Visiting Mister Abadeer?" the teller asked.

"Does it look like it?" Jungle Princess asked.

"Okay then. Here's your ticket."

Luckily, they're next in line. But they're next in line to go to the real line.

"Good Lord, this really is hell!" Joash swore. In that time, a storm cloud appears in a mist and starts to ask everyone, "To those who wish to see the lord of evil. Please raise your hand." and the four raised their hands. Suddenly, the storm cloud zapped anyone who raised their hands, which is everyone. Joash tried to dodge the lightning bolt, but he can't dodge light. So it shocked him. Fortunately, his live staff absorbed and reflected the lighting back to the cloud, temporarily stunning it, and out of complete impulse, Flame Princess raised both of her hands and hurled a giant fireball towards the cloud and it grunted from the heatwave and retreated back to the mansion.

"Hey, you actually did something for once!" Joash teased.

"After that cloud!" yelled Jungle Princess and they ran to Hunson's mansion. They saw the cloud formed back into a demon wearing a suit. He looked up, staring at the four bemusedly.

"Can I help you?" he asked, completely unfazed. Uneasily, Flavio answered, "Yes. You grant wishes right?" He motions to Jungle Princess. "This young woman wishes to cure her jungle from a disease."

"What makes you think I would grant a wish to outsiders!"

"Looks like we have to knock some sense into him." mumbled Flame Princess and Hunson overheard her. "So be it."

Jungle Princess attacked Hunson but she missed. Retaliating, Hunson jabbed her in the stomach. She flinched and he kicked her. His sharp-heeled boots sliced her body belly-up and she collapsed, screaming in pain. He was about to suck her soul dry until Flavio's throwing knife stabbed him in the chest. He looked up, startled, "So you three decided to join in, huh?" he said, regaining his senses.

"I don't see why not, demon." he said and he threw holy water towards Hunson. He saw the bottle and dodged, but he didn't saw Flame Princess' fireball racing towards him and is engulfed by it, but it didn't seem to harm him one bit.

"Princess." growled Flavio.

"Yes?"

"Help me take him down."

"... Right."

Joash ran to Jungle Princess while Flavio and Flame Princess are pursuing Hunson in the background. He whistled at the sight of her blood-gushing wound.

"You're just as soft as melted butter." He took a closer look on her crotch. "Even your womanhood's bleeding!" He pried his staff out of her palm.

"I don't know what you did to this staff, but thank you for splitting the pain back there."

The orb on his staff sparked and he held it out to arms length. The orb on its tip glowed azure and her wound magically healed, showing no traces for a scar and she immediately regained conciousness.

"Thanks." she said, as she stood up to her feet. Flavio and Flame Princess continued pursuing Hunson like a dog chasing a cat.

"Enough of this!" Hunson yelled and he turned into his demonic form.

"Any ideas?!" Flame Princess blurted.

"We have to find a weakness...!" Flavio yelled.

"That amulet!" she gasped. "I think it's the source for his powers!"

"What makes you think that?!" he continued.

"Well, I don't see why not?! Don't have any other plan, now do we?!"

"... Distract him while I'll try to rip that thing off of his neck!"

Creating a distraction, Flame Princess acted as a decoy to stall him, and with a well-swinged axe, the amulet fell off from his neck. With the amulet gone, he returned to his normal form; In his underwear and Flame Princess started laughing bitterly.

"You beaten me!" he blurted the obvious. after a bitter laugh, Flame Princess picked the amulet off the ground.

"We've beaten the lord of pure evil." she said with her cheeks still rosy and she threw the amulet back to Hunson.

"You're not-?"

"_Nah__,_"she continued, "I'm just... wasting time..."

With his amulet tied up, his suit appeared once more.

"You grant wishes, right?" she asked.

"This amulet can do anything, fire elemental. Would you like to try it on?"

"... No thanks."

He looked at Jungle Princess. "I only grant wishes to people living in the Nightosphere. . . _Begone!_" and they were forcefully herded to the portal in the back due to the powers of the amulet. They collapsed to treehouse's living room floor and the portal closed.

"Well that went better than expected." Joash stood up, dusting himself off.

"It's pretty dark outside." said Flame Princess.

Jungle Princess sighed in agony. "Stupid asshole!" and she kicked the floor out of frustration.

Tiredness quickly overcame Flame Princess. "I'm going to bed." she yawned.

"Where are you going?" asked Joash.

"My house is not far from here." she answered.

"So you're not staying with us, huh?"

"Eww! No!" she snapped.

"Well, see you in the morning then." he continued and she left.

"She's getting bold." said Flavio.

"Good." said Joash. He looked at Jungle Princess. "So, Jungle Princess, what great adventure are we going to do now?" he asked.

Flame Princess shutted the door behind her, looked at the beautiful sunset and went back to house. Inside, she took a deep breath, inhailing the familiar atmosphere. She yawned again and crawled into her bed and quickly slumbered.


	7. Chapter 6 - MTFAI

**Chapter 6 - Manipulated Through Fear and Intellect**

It's funny. Flame Princess used to be afraid of them. But now, she familiarized herself with their quirks and lashes. Shrugging them off rather than cowering in fear. This is just only the beginning for her. Her world's about to get much bigger.

"Princess!" Joash's voice echoed.

"Princess!" this time it was much louder. She woke up, with her eyes blood-shut.

"Ughh..." she groaned. "Give me a minute!" she yelled.

She got out of her bed, stretched, changed her clothes, grabbed her sword and went outside.

"You ready?" he asked. He's still bruised and his wrists are still covered with cuffs from the Fire Kingdom.

"Yup."

"Okay then-"

"But wait." she interrupted.

"... Yes?"

"That staff can heal wounds. Right?"

He didn't anwser. He only stared at her.

"... Why didn't you use it on Finn?"

"I only heal people I know and trust. But weren't you over him?"

"Yeah, I am. But..."

"You want me to heal him."

"Is it possible?"

"If you want to do it. Why not you?"

"I can do it?"

"Princess. Anyone can heal with this blasphemous thing."

Do you want Flame Princess to heal Finn?

**If you answered yes**

* * *

"Well. I want too."

"So be it."

They traveled back to Candy Kingdom and Joash was met with cold stares of the citizens.

"Loser!" a citizen yelled, with an L-shaped finger on his forehead. Joash zapped him with his staff and the citizen instantly died.

"Anyone else want to say something?" he beckoned, and the crowd dispersed, cowering in fear.

They entered the castle and are greeted by Princess Bubblegum.

"You're back, huh?" Princess Bubblegum said.

"Flame Princess is going to heal Finn. Like I should've done days before."

"I can't believe you!" Princess Bubblegum gave Joash a sharp glare.

"Not my problem." he shot back at her.

She cussed in german. "Fine. Just do what you came here for and get the math outta here."

"Good." and they left to the E.R.

"Why are you so mean?" Flame Princess asked.

"I only act nice to people who help me." he answered.

"Am I... Helpful?"

"No." he answered plainly. "Another reason why I treated you so horribly at first."

Flame Princess gave him a contemptful look.

"But you're getting there." Joash reassured.

They reached the E.R. and approached Finn's bed. Joash gave Flame Princess the Live Staff and she held it in her wrist, causing the azure colored orb to turn blood-ruby.

"It changed color!" she gasped.

"Just focus and concentrate on Finn." he said, unfazed.

She closed her eyes and concentrated. Her entire body tensed. The orb sparked fire and covered Finn. He was completely in flames.

"Finn!" she screamed. Suddenly she started dimming. She turned around to face Joash. "What's happening to me?!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

"You're dying." There's nothing he can do to stop it.

She screamed in agony as she dimmed from orange to red and finally to blue-gray. She collapsed next to Finn's arms, and she flickered into thin air. At the same time, The fire engulfing on Finn disappeared and he is completely healed. He woke up, only to see Flame Princess burning out of existence.

"Flame Princess!" he shrieked.

"Finn..." she moaned weakly and she disappeared completely, only leaving the gem on her forehead. He quickly grabbed the gem and looked to his right, seeing Joash.

"DID YOU KILLED HER?!" he screeched.

"No." He picked up the staff off the ground and he pointed to it. "This killed her."

"I'LL KILL YOU!" he roared.

He tried tackling him but Joash's knife sliced his neck and punctured his chin. Blood quickly gushes out and Finn collapsed to the ground, belly up.

Joash turned sour. He slowly bent down to Finn. "Hate to break it to you. But you're going to die." he whispered to Finn's ear.

"May you rot in the Nightosphere!" he cackled weakly.

"Kid. Not even the Nightosphere wants me."and he slowly punctured Finn's heart with his dagger. Finn tried fighting, but his strength is quickly sapped from blood loss. The dagger stabbed his heart. Finn quietly yelled. He was gasping for air. But only blood came out. He tried calling for help, but he couldn't say a word. The taste of salt ran wild in his mouth and Finn coughed out blood before finally giving out his last breath.

Joash got up and sheathed his dagger. "Rest in peace." He stared at the Flame Princess' gem being held tightly in Finn's left hand and he left the room. He looked at blood-colored orb. "... Well. Looks like Flavio won't be so happy about this..."

**If you answered no**

* * *

"Hmm..."

She thought about Finn again. Now that she looks at him at a different perspective. She prefers Joash and Flavio as her teachers for some unorthodox reason.

Thinking back to the Fire Kingdom, for example. Flame Princess saw Flame King in another light. A brutal one. She didn't knew that he can be that cruel... And for Dungeon Master, Joash showed her all sorts military tactics, even though most of them flew past her head.

She shivered from disgust at the thought of Finn. She's thirsty for life.

"I'm through with you, Finn..."

"You're over him?" And she nodded.

"I'm impressed. If any other kid were to take your place, they wouldn't even last an hour from us. They simply commit suicide. But you. You're different. You kept soldiering on even when you suicidal thoughts, if you have any. Did you?"

"No."

"Then, good. We're going to the library."

They both went back to the tree fort.

"Okay guys." said Joash. "Like we said last night. We're going to the library to find a cure for the jungle. According to BMO, the closest library here is Turtle Princess' library. That's where we're heading."

Her library's not far from here. This is a perfect opportunity for Flame Princess to get. Traveling west, over the horizon, they saw a giant, gray turtle shell.

"This must be it." said Joash. they went inside and was greeted by Turtle Princess.

"Hello there!" she said. "I see you four are new here, yes?"

"Uh, yeah." said Flame Princess.

"Before you start, please make a library card so you can start reading."

"First, a passport and second, a library card?" Joash continued. "Nice souveneirs to bring back home."

"Is that a yes?" Turtle Princess asked.

"Yes." Joash answered.

"Then good. Please follow me to my desk to start."

They followed her to her desk and she gave them a small, white rectangle form to each of them. They filled all the information in the form. They gave their forms back to Turtle Princess, encased them in plastic, and gave them back.

"Enjoy your stay here." she said.

"Thank you." said Joash.

They walked to a nearby bench and Joash placed his on top of the desk. "You all know the drill."

Joash left. Everyone left all except for Flame Princess. She's like a fish out of water. Might as well learn how to read while she's here.

She meandered around the vast library, trying to find something easy enough to read. She searched high and she searched low until she found what she was looking for. She looked at the title: Alphabets.

"This looks easy enough.". And she grabbed the book off the shelf and started reading. She flipped the book to the first page. "Al.. pha... be-be-betssss. A-alphabe-bets. Al-pha-bets. Al-pha-bets. Alphabets."

She giggled triumphantly and flipped to the second page. She looked to the lower-right corner of the page. It shows the number one. She knew numbers, but she can only count to five, the rest are illogical. "This must be the first page." and she looked at the giant, yellow A and lowercase a.

"Th-th le-letter... a. Th-the. The lett-t-ter a... The letter A. The fi-first letter... letter... of... the... alphabet... The letter A. Fir-first letter of the alphabet. The letter A. The first letter of the alphabet."

"I think I'm getting the hang of this. She flipped to the second page. This time, a blue, letter B.

"The letter B. The se-second letter of the alphabet. Second. The letter b. The second letter of the alphabet."

She flipped to the third page. and so on, and so on, and so on `till she finished the entire book. After finishing, she went back to the desk and saw Flavio reading a book about religion and Jungle Princess figuring out how to work a loafing BMO. Flavio looked up to Flame Princess. "Are you done?" he asked.

"No, well, I mean yes, I mean, I know the entire alphabet now."

"Then tell me."

"A, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y and z."

"Impressive. But how many letters are that?"

"Umm, more than five?

"Indeed. But what specific number?"

She completely froze from his question.

"You know your letters well. But-"

Books from a bookcase collapsed making a loud thump, interrupting Flavio.

"Crap!" a visitor yelled.

"Watch your language!" another yelled.

"Quiet!" Turtle Princess yelled and the two were quickly hushed.

"Book arrangement in aisle G. Book arrangement in aisle G." Turtle Princess' voice echoed through the intercom.

"... But not your numbers." he continued, completely unfazed. "Try to count now."

"One, two, three, four, five..."

"Six."

"Six...!"

"Seven."

"Seven...!"

"Okay. One..." she repeated. "two, three, four, five, six, seven... One, two, three. four, five, six, seven."

"Try to find a book about numbers now." Flavio continued and Flame Princess left.

Back to hunting. She searched high and she searched low again, until she found a book about numbers. She grabbed the book off the shelf and flipped open the book. "One." She flipped a page.

"Two. Three. Four. Five. S-ix. Se-ven." She flipped the next page seeing the number eight.

"E-eight." She looked at the pronunciation. She flipped the next page, "N-nine." and so on.

Flame Princess looked at the clock nearby; 2:00 PM. She was strained. She got up and stretched to get her blood (if she has any) pumping through her legs. She went back to the desk.

"So..." Joash said, "what did we find today?"

"This robot's completely useless." said Jungle Princess.

"Too bad. We're leaving." he continued.

Flame Princess joined up with them and went back to Turtle Princess' desk. Jungle Princess asked her for anyone who can help.

"Why not ask Water Princess?" Turtle Princess answered.

"Where do we find her?"

"She lives underwater. But she's good friends with most of the princesses in the desert."

"Looks like we're going back to the desert then." said Joash.

Turtle Princess waved her hand and they left the library.

"Looks like we'll be walking."

They marched the death march again. Several hours later they're in the desert. Blueish-pink sky, a cool breeze, and with the Breakfast Kingdom overlooking them. They went inside the diner and had dinner there. After dinner, they went into her castle.

"Hello." Flame Princess greeted.

"Hello there." Breakfast Princess greeted back. "Can I help you?"

"We're here to find Water Princess." said Joash. They introduced themselves and Breakfast Princess introduced herself and her sister.

"You know," said Toast Princess, "there's going to be a picnic tomorrow with most of the desert princesses, and Water Princess and Lamprey Princess are joining them. We're not. But why not you four do?"

"Sounds wonderful!" Joash remarked. "When will it start?"

"About brunch time." Toast Princess said.

"We'll see them tomorrow." he continued. They waved good bye and rested inside an inn. Only one problem.

"There's four of us and only one bed..." Flavio said.


	8. Chapter 7 - Blue is the New Pink

**Chapter 7 - Blue is the New Pink**

After cradling each others arms, morning rises. They got out of bed and had personal time. They ate breakfast and waited. It's now 10:27 AM. They went to the Desert Kingdom where supposedly Water Princess and all the other desert princesses are having their picnic. Breakfast Princess' hunch was right. They saw many princesses eating brunch together. Water Princess saw them, "Can I help you?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah..." Flame Princess said. "C-can we join?" She was nervous.

"Of course!" she said. "Anyone's welcome to join us."

"Brought anything?" Lamprey Princess asked.

"Yes, we did." answered Joash. He opened his briefcase and brought out an apple and a screamer slice, leftovers from Dungeon Master and layed it out on the picnic cloth.

"Here's an apple and rotting mushroom flesh."

"Rotting?!" the lamprey gasped.

"Aged to perfection, my toothy friend."

"If it's aged to perfection then I'll 'cept that!"

"Is that it?" Water Princess continued. He rummaged inside his briefcase for anymore foodstuff, "No. That's it."

Flame Princess sat down and started chatting with them. Joash, Flavio and Jungle Princess looked at them.

"There's our little princess," said Joash, "taking a break from all the crap we've been through."

"Except for us." Jungle Princess butted in. "We're still in vain."

"Hey, guys!" Desert Princess hollered to the trio. "Care to join us?"

The trio shooked their heads.

Flame Princess is having the time of her life. Two hours later, they finished their picnic. Everyone waved good-bye to each other. Flame Princess walked back to her friends. Joash and Flavio are playing with tarot cards while Jungle Princess paced back and forth.

"Hey, Jungle Princess!" Flame Princess yelled.

"Yes?" she said with burning anticipation.

"Water Princess agreed to help us."

"Oh, thank Glob!" she sighed with relief.

"Glob?"

"It's our god here."

"Glob..." mumbled Joash.

"Better than Yahweh."

Joash laughed. "Can't beat that logic!"

Water Princess approached Jungle Princess.

"So your Jungle Princess right?'

Jungle Princess nodded.

"A flesh-eating virus, huh? Probably Chooses Goose has an answer."

She looked at the four. "We're going to the grasslands."

Flame Princess, along with the priest, paladin, amazon and another princess traveled back to the grasslands and found Choose Goose's shack.

"Ah, hello, Water Princess." Choose Goose greeted.

"Do you know have any antidotes?"

"What kind?"

"The flesh-eating kind."

"I got what you're looking for."

Choose Goose gave her a purple-colored flask. She also bargained him for a lock-out chip. They installed it on BMO, causing him to reformat, erasing all past memories of Finn, Jake and his peers.

He went into a boot up sequence and he turned on. "Hello, masters." he bowed. "What can I do for you?"

"Not at the moment," said Water Princess. "Please shut-down."

"If that's your wish milady." and he powered down. Joash bagged him inside the briefcase.

"Very well-mannered. I'm already liking the new BMO already." he said.

"We'll be going to the jungle now." Water Princess continued. They traveled to the mad jungle in which a sign hilariously said: Abandon all hope ye who enter!

Water Princess drank the liquid inside the flask and "seeded" the sky. The sky soon turned overcast and the entire jungle rained purple.

"That should do it." she said.

"Miracle worker, huh? Consider yourself Jesus here." said Flavio.

"Pardon?"

"It's nothing. Just don't get nailed on a cross." which caused Joash to laugh.

Flame Princess can handle raindrops pretty well, it's the _Big Blue_ that she has to watch out for.

"Thank you, miracle worker!" Jungle Princess praised and shooked Water Princess arm roughly.

Water Princess smiled. "It's what I do." she said. Jungle Princess stopped shaking hands. Water Princess stared at the four with approval. "You four are quite interesting. May I join you?"

"The more the merrier." said Joash.

A smile appeared on Flame Princess' face. "It's official. You're one of us!" she said. A ray of hope shined on her giving her renewed determination.

"Any ideas, Water Princess?" Joash asked.

"There's a band called the Scream Queens. I heard their next concert is in the Wedding Kingdom. I'd love to go there."

"So you're a fan of them?" Jungle Princess asked.

"Of course." she answered.

"Why not we all go together?" asked Flame Princess.

"Sure," answered Water Princess. "Why not we all go."


	9. Chapter 8 - Screaming Queens and Babies

**Chapter 8 - Screaming Queens and Babies**

They traveled to the Wedding Kingdom. They went to the castle and found a poster pasted on the door's facade. Joash read the poster, "It won't happen until 9:00 PM." he said. Killing time, they went around the entire kingdom, getting seduced by its glittering roads and houses. They then met a couple taking a stroll with their baby. The couple warmly greeted the group. They call themselves the Garrickson's. The baby stared at Joash with a cold gaze as if he's trying to get his attention.

"There's something strange about that baby." Joash said to the couple. The baby then cooed.

"Oh!" Mrs. Garrickson gasped, "Our baby is a little strange. Whenever I feed him. The spoon magically bends sometimes and whenever he cries, sparks fly around."

"Then he must be psychic." he continued.

"That's what Princess Bubblegum said to me and my husband also," Her face turned sour, "but I don't trust her."

"Why?" Flame Princess asked.

"I heard that she tortures her enemies just for disagreeing with her."

"Typical for a dictator." Flavio said.

"Damn right!" Mr, Garrickson said, "Now, honey, please, can we go back to strolling. I don't want to talk about her."

"Right." Mrs. Garrickson bowed. "Well, it's nice seeing you five. We're happy to see you again." and they continued their stroll.

"That baby's is trying to communicate with me." Joash said.

"But we're not psychic," Flavio said, "How are we going to converse with the infant."

"If Charon was here, she would do it with no trouble." Joash said.

Dusk appears. Water Princess turned on BMO: It's 8:55.

"It's time." she said and they went inside.

Flavio was about to enter but he stopped and he looked around. He sensed something. In a dark alleyway nearby, he can see two emerald-colored reptilian eyes. It's Arthur. He walked towards him. "What do you want, Arthur?" he asked.

"Nothing," he answered, "Just spyin' on ya."

"Did something wrong happened?" Flavio asked.

"Oh, yeah. The blonde kid died." the griffon answered.

"How did he-?"

"Heart failure." he interrupted.

Flavio turned silent. Moments later, "Flame Princess won't like this..." he muttered.

"Speaking of that fire bitch," Arthur continued, "How ya three doin'?"

"We're doing fine. We even recruited people here."

"More arrow fodder, right?"

_"Fie!"_ Flavio snapped, "Away with you!" He extended his claws and scratched him. Arthur dodged the attack. "Whatever, brother!" he shot back and he dissipated into the darkness. Flavio turned around in disgust and went inside the castle. The entire hallway is full. He saw Joash and the rest sitting nearby and he sat down next to them.

"Where did you go?" asked Joash.

"It was Arthur." he answered.

"Arthur?"

"He told me that Finn died."

Joash shrugged his arms, "That's life, Flavio."

Flame Princess overheard Joash. "What about Finn?" she asked.

"He died." Joash answered.

"I see..."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm over him."

"If you joined us sooner. You'd be bawling your eyes off." Joash continued.

"Heh." she bitterly cracked.

Sitting next to them, "It's you five again!" are the Garrickson's and their baby again.

"So you three are here to?" Jungle Princess asked.

"Of course! Everyone in the kingdom is here!"

The ceiling lights turned off and the headlights panned towards the stage. Smoke covered the entire stage and the Scream Queens appeared after the smoke dissipated.

"Are you ready to rock?!" Marceline hollered. The crowd roared.

"Then get ready for your butts to fall off!" she continued.

The entire castle shooked from the vibrations of the speakers. Some punk-heads nearby head-banged to the music. It was fun concert and, hours later, it's all over.

"...My ears ring." Flavio complained. Everyone left after the concert was over and the Garrickson's parted ways with the group.

"It's been a fun time listening with you guys." the father said.

"You call that music?" Joash complained, "Where's the jazz?"

"Well they are a _"Rock"_ band, but everyone has their own tastes." he continued.

Joash looked at the baby again. The baby raised it's racker and suddenly, a lightning bolt strikes the five with a deafening roar. They all collapsed.

"Oh my!" the mother screeched, "Judas! Call the hospital!"

"Joash..." Something whispered to his ear.

"Joash..." This time it was much louder. "Go to the Ice Kingdom..."

He woke up in a hospital with Flavio looking him over.

"So you're awake." said Flavio.

"Flavio..." he groaned, "How long have we been out?"

"Three days."

"...Someone said in my dream to go to the Ice Kingdom." Joash continued.

"All of us heard the same message too... It has to be the baby." Flavio said.

"Definitely."

They went out the infirmary and saw Jungle Princess, Flame Princess, and Water Princess sitting in the waiting room.

"So you three know where we're going?" Joash asked.

"To the Ice Kingdom." Water Princess answered, "But why?"

"It has the Ice King creep!" Flame Princess complained.

"Let's just get this crap over with," Joash continued, "But before we do..."

They knocked on the Garrickson's door and the door opened with Mrs. Garrickson.

"Hello there!" she greeted and Joash bowed. "Excuse me for saying this, but you're baby caused the lighting bolt to appear.

"It seems that way... It's a good thing that no one else here thought of the same thing. Or they might think he's a doom-bringer..."

"Besides," she continued, "are you guys going somewhere?"

"Your baby said to us to go to the Ice Kingdom."

"I see..." She bowed back, "Take care." and she closed the door.

"She doesn't seem so friendly with us anymore." Jungle Princess said.

"...Well enough of that," Joash said, "We're going to the Ice Kingdom."


End file.
